Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Cult of the Snuggie

Is it me or is this sort of creepy (see above)?

Announcer's voice bursts in) "It's not creepy! It's the Snuggie! The blanket with sleeves!..."

If you're anything like me (& I hope to God you're not), one-part insomniac/one-part hard-core night person, you probably often find yourself wandering this earth or puttering around your dwelling in the wee hours when more sensible folks are dead to the world. Subconsciously I think I probably feel sleep is over-rated and a waste of precious free time; Time better spent creating music, reading or watching crap TV.

If you're one of my late-night, channel-surfing brethren you've probably come across this rhymin' Snuggie commercial. For the uninitiated, the Snuggie is this kind of blanket with sleeves that you can put your arms through so you can continue to use your appendages as they stay snug as a bug in a...well, Snuggie. Sounds good in theory (although I think they already invented this a thousand years ago, it's called a sweater) and it probably indeed works in practice but the downside, as you've undoubtedly seen from the video, is the aesthetic of the Snuggie; It's, well, just plain F'in kooky at best. Chances are unless you're some kind of medieval monk or "of one with the body of Landru" (a totally nerdy Star Trek reference) then you're gonna look pretty insane wearing a Snuggie. I love the pitch in the commercial - Read a book, use your laptop, enjoy a snack, worship false Gods! But wait, there's more! Comes in not one but 3 totally strange choices of color! Great for drafty dorm rooms, great for the outdoors, great for burning people at the stake, machine washable! Check out the old dude in the Snuggie spot who looks like Paulie Walnuts sitting in his recliner eating popcorn. Pure awesome Snuggie-ness.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any freakier, it seems the good folks at Snuggie have outdone themselves - Introducing the
Snugglette! It's the mini-Snuggie for kids! Wow...I kind of don't know what to say. Even I'm a little weirded out at this point. What's next? Jim Jones flavored Kool-Aid?

Supposedly they've sold millions of Snuggies (including designer versions) and even
Oprah wears one (so you know it must be good). Apparently people go on organized pub-crawls wearing Snuggies these days. Who knew? And really who am I to scoff at progress or the seemingly unbridled insanity of the 21st century? Rave on Snuggie children, I'm with ya.

I do look pretty cool in burgundy.

Of one with the Snuggie,

Editor's Note - I just heard the ShamWow guy got busted for beating down a hooker. Wow, what a sham(e).


  1. I snuggle. In the studio. I can play my guitar. And write songs prasing the mighty snuggle. Mine is blue. Like my guitar. But what i like best about it is what i call "Cult Shiek". I'm getting on the next comet with my Nike's and my Snuggle!
    Ron legend.

  2. Don't forget - the Social Network with Sleeves.

  3. It looks like they're wearing dressing gowns the wrong way round.

  4. Bonus: it's wizard-like.